Simple Secrets #2

If you show yourself friendly, you'll find a friend

There are times when life seems to be more than we can handle. The stresses of life, like a well trained ninja, are always poised to strike. Without the right safeguards we can fall prey to anxiety and depression.

Our latest session was a continuation of Simple Secrets of Happy People. The young pastor went over 3 points:

1. Happy people cultivate friendships
2. Happy people share of themselves
3. Make your work your calling

The importance of friendships is what stuck out to me this week. Of all the things we chase on this planet, relationships maybe the most undervalued.  Sure I have hundreds of "friends"on Facebook and thousands of "followers" on Twitter (and possibly millions of readers) - but how many true relationships do I have? Serious relationships? Grounded relationships.

Cultivating a true friendship is not always easy nor is it a 1-way street. Relationships that matter will hit rough patches. You'll be challenged. You'll be tired. You'll be stretched. The great thing about being a believer in Christ is knowing that it's not always about you. Maybe it's your friend that needs a shoulder to cry on or a word of encouragement. Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. Prov 12:25-26

I have some close friendships that truly bring me joy. Yes, there is give and take. Sure, we don't always see eye-to-eye....but I know who to call when I feel the world on my shoulders. I know who is going to do a victory dance with me. I do the same for them.

This world continues to do all it can to bring me down. I do not face problems alone; I face them with God on my side and believers next to me.

Simple Secrets

con·tent    
[kuhn-tent]
–adjective
1. satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.


Proverbs 19:23
New International Version (NIV)
 23 The fear of the LORD leads to life; then one rests content, untouched by trouble.


After months of vacation, we welcomed Jessie Prince back to The Grind - he was missed dearly (mostly by me). The young pastor came out swinging with this weeks' lesson: Simple Secrets of Happy People.

We went over 4 points:

1. Happy people are content with what they have
2. Happy people do not harshly criticize family and friends
3. Happy people laugh
4. Happy people do not deflect their pain

The above list is an over-simplification of the discussion in class. Many truths were exposed in a short amount of time. It made me reflect on the joys of my life.

We had small group discussions then some "show and tell" sharing with the class. What really took me back was the frame of mind I've been in for so long. Those that know Nelly and me can tell you about some pretty rough personal times. Through it all, we have always been able to laugh. For the most part, I'm a happy guy. I find joy in VERY simple things. For a moment, I thought this was because I'm a simple man. That still may be true...BUT...I think my personal trials have changed my perception. I find joy in little things - music, dancing, close friends/relationships, dancing...

Others shared really deep thoughts around "what brings us joy." Some ideas mentioned were paying off debt, helping others, giving all that you have to a just cause. My list consisted of shuffling.

The truth is I'm here, Nelly is alive, and our kids are healthy. We weren't always sure about any of that. We have been through some painful times; we have faced it head-on and we continue to overcome the odds. He heals the brokenhearted and binds their wounds -PSA 147:3.  That allows me to laugh and be generally ridiculous. I am content with my wife and children - the rest is gravy.

NEH 8:10 Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

Praying that you seek and find your peace today.

Love, After All

This last weekend we were blessed to have Mrs. Lael Melville speak to our class - she rocks socks!

Because I've been married longer-than-a-day, I know to NEVER speak on behalf or in place of a woman. So, I'm not going to rehash/paraphrase her message; on my best day, I couldn't interpret all that Ms. Lael has to say.

This is my basic understanding or the message:

Lack of obedience leads to pain. Pain, by way of choices and decisions, leads to correction. We should redefine pain as something we need to go through to get to Love i.e. obedience opens our hearts to God's Love.

There were SOOOO many different hard hitting topics/subjects/talking-points that were covered....I'd need a book and not a blog post to do it any justice. Since Jessie Prince doesn't allow me to speak in class (a wise decision) I'd like to share a small piece of what really stuck to me.

Obedience. The word just sounds harder than Chinese math, doesn't it?. Speaking, or writing, about obedience has been on my heart for a very long time - probably because it's where I need to focus. I remember talking with my wife, Nelly, about this topic 5 years ago. I had to make a simple phone call. I didn't want to make that call, but I felt moved to do so. I tried to talk myself out of it. I just didn't want to do it. I even thought that the person I was calling wasn't going to answer. I had this "gentle nudging" that wouldn't go away. I wasn't going to be allowed to not make the call.

In that instant, it had hit me. The conversation that may or may not happen wasn't important .It was simply important that I dialed the number.. Something so trivial  Just letting someone know that I'm thinking of them. You see, when we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us, the impact that have on others is more profound that we can imagine. When we are obedient, God can do his wonders through us. We never know how far a small gesture of kindness will go. We've all had days when we feel the world is against us; but we receive a quick text or email or call...and it turns our day around. We feel that someone cares about us. That's God letting you know that you're not alone.

I love how Moi, a Christian band, explained obedience to a church where they were leading worship. Simply put, our obedience pleases God.

It is a simple but profound truth. Ms. Lael had said she learned how to walk from her mom; she picked it up nuances and habits of her mother.

That's where obedience to Christ should live - in the nuances, in the subtleties of who we are...in our every day lives.

Please feel free to discuss/share what you got out of the class. Again, many thanks to Ms. Lael for her awesomeness.

For Better or Worse

At times we all feel we are living the second half of our vows:

• For Worse
• For Poorer
• For Sickness

And I don't remember seeing anything in there about dealing with kids or in-laws...

Despite all the wonders of marriage that can sometimes seem like God is cursing us for past mistakes (thanks Adam), there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Though the world wants us to believe that nothing can get better; Jesus came to give us life in a way we never knew possible, JOHN10:10.  This applies to all areas: work, finance, health, parenting, and MARRIAGE. Yes, God's gifts apply to our everyday lives - my spouse and kids.

Here in The Grind, we explore biblical teaching and practical lessons that help us in our daily journey. Some of the classes that I've enjoyed and grown from:

1. Managing Marital Conflict
2. Communications Seminar
3. Marriage.Money.Hope

What are some of your favorite memories/classes/reasons for enjoying The Grind?

Every day is a challenge - that just means everyday is an opportunity to win! God bless