The New Rules: If I Were You

An amazing day today. 10 years later, yet we all remember September 11th. I would be remiss to start this post without expressing thanks and gratitude - to our service members, first responders, firefighters, policemen, port authority members, to the crew and passengers of flight United 93: We will Never forget.

Today's class was a mix of review, practical actions, and color commentary. We are continuing our "New Rules" series. To serve as a review, here are the quick bullet points:

• In Marriage we made promises we were not prepared to keep
• Prepare to keep commitments
• The paths you choose trump the commitments you make

 As mentioned, some actions were outlined. But I want to explore a different route;  I'd like to spend some time on a point made about addictions.

To paraphrase: if you concentrate on what you are NOT going to do...that's exactly what you'll do. If you decide to give up junk food, and all day you think about the cheeseburger you are not going to have, well by Friday I'll be seeing you at Country Burger.

The better approach is to focus on what you could be doing with your time instead of what you have been doing. If you spent hours at the bar drinking, think of the time you can spend with your spouse.

I'm not addicted to anything besides my smokin hot wife, but this did get me to thinking. I'm an All-Star husband and great dad (and I'm humble too). I know that I can do things differently; be better. I want to be a SUPER STAR husband and father. I want to be Shaq of early 2000's or Jordan of the 90's. For you ladies, I want to the Dr. Phil of marriage...not Maury Povich.

So instead of thinking what I needed to NOT do, I decided to look at myself and think how can I change how my time is spent. A couple of quick changes for me are going to have great impact:

• So that I can spend more time with Nelly
• Cook meals at home together
• Make time to find a sitter for date-nite
• So that I can spend more time with the kids
• Study and write (blog) after the kids are in bed
• Wake up a little earlier to help out with getting the kids dressed and fed
• To get this looking good again
• Wake up early 2 times a week to hit the gym

For me, these are simple, quick ways that will change my relationship with my children and spouse. It's a quick fix to getting my health back in order. The extra time alone in the morning will allow me to focus on prayer time.

Today's lesson helped me find ways to focus on the right pieces for my marriage and make simple effective changes.