The New Rules: The Right Person Myth

The weekend started off with a BANG!The Grind is kicking off a new series - New Rules for Marriage, Family, and Life. Today's topic: The Right Person Myth.

Two things were stated up front:

1. This series is for any body that wants to stay together "till death do us part." If you are not truly vested in this or simply going through the motions, no one will benefit
2. This series is based on a pastoral discussion around "what do you wish you knew before you got married?"  This is looking at relational issues prior to marriage...that carry over

Much was said and many points were made around this mythical "right" person. We all laughed and thought back to those moments when we said, "You don't understand! No one has EVER loved me like this...and I have never loved any one more! You just don't get it!"  Ah, to be young and feel love's keen sting. We explored how most view marriage troubles today; that we do maintenance on the institution of marriage instead of fixing the relationship. An underlying theme through this was your present will be your past and will be present in your future. I take this as meaning, "If your junk was broke before you got married, your junk is gonna be broke after you marry."

It is true that so many people today think that the magic ring will change everything. If she parties with her friends now, she will when she's married. If he is drinking with his buddies at the bar today, I know where to find him the weekend after the ceremony. If she spends every holiday with her family, then she is expecting to be there Thanksgiving and you better be happy about it. If neither of you were good at relationships before you got married....well, you better stay for this whole series.

The closing of the class tied it all together with some practical home work. We all have a card to reference during our date night. This will be awesome.

1COR 13:4 -7 Oh man I love this passage! It was read at our wedding - how very appropriate yet cliche. Perfect. When we looked over this, Nelly and I laughed. To give you a couple of examples, here are 2 quick looks at us:

DURING CLASS
Jessie Prince to the class: You shouldn't do anything that brings shame to you, your spouse, or your family
Nelly whispering to me: Eeeeee...you're blog [not this one, but my personal ridiculousness]

ON THE DRIVE HOME
Nelly: I still need to see the directory picture of the co-worker you're traveling with this week.
Me: Nelly, love doesn't envy. So I'm going to be patient while you work on it. How very kind of me. And, I'm not going to ask for a high-five because love shouldn't be boastful. Can you please give me my card so I can mark off some stuff? Man, this is gonna be EASY!

JP said it best with this one line - it's about becoming one.  I pray that each couple works on being the spouse that God has called us to be. By being faithful to God and making some changes internally, our relationship with our spouse will grow strong.